An Angry Daughter and the Straw-Man Fallacy

Feminism is an old topic, and I'm sure everyone is already tired of hearing it. Feminists have made their stand and used all resources. Or at least I would love to believe that they did.

When one-third of the world is at war and everything can go wrong, it’s a shame that we still have to defend women and their rights.

If you are a woman in Bangladesh and spoke your mind or asked for your rights, I’m sure someone already threw the typical question to you. I faced the question for the first time when I was a university student: “Are you a feminist too?”

One of my teachers asked me this question when I said I don’t want to change my name after marriage. I don’t know if he meant it as an insult or if it was a simple question. But this question stayed with me. I still ask myself, how wanting to keep my own name, my identity pushes me to a side, feminist side. Isn’t it a right for all?

However, that's not how society treats women. It scrutinizes every step she takes, makes the roads she takes harder than necessary and after all these if she successfully reaches her goal, appreciation is not expected. Instead we will all sit down to investigate her ways.

As if a woman can never achieve success without using the WOMAN card. As if it wasn’t enough to tell a woman what to do, what to wear, what to say, they have to set the bar for women's reach too. Too low, too degraded, too controllable. Even in 2026 people assume that a female student will choose to be a doctor rather than engineering. Not because she can’t, but just because she is a WOMAN.

I’ve been seeing so many arguments online and off-line against feminist activists for the last few years. It always felt a little weird, something off about their points but I could never figure it out. The rage-bait contents online, blaming feminists for their demands, making all women look bad who protest against unfair social hypocrisies.

Recently I saw a post on Instagram, and everything made sense. How we are constantly fighting to place our rights in front of society and how they are ignoring us to fight the Straw Man they are creating.

What is Straw-Man Fallacy?

The straw man fallacy is a debate tactic where someone takes a weak point of your argument and replaces it with a flimsy exaggerated version of it and starts fighting it ignoring the main topic. Instead of grappling with the real argument, critics construct a caricature body and knock it down.

Feminism, with its diverse strands and complex critiques of power, is particularly vulnerable to this tactic. Its call for equality is often twisted into demands for superiority. It happens when people claim they are engaging with feminism’s strong argument, but in reality they are responding to a distorted, simplified make-shift version of it. The irony is, this tactic makes the attack seem reasonable and easy to divert the topic and distract everyone.

Instead of asking what women want, they think how they can make it sound unreasonable while pretending that they care. The real subject gets side tracked and never gets addressed.

How does Straw-Man Work?

Think about the equal salary debate. Feminists question the wage gap, ask for equal pay for equal work, supported by data. But the industry often points out the fact that “ Women want to get paid more than men” or "Feminists want more wages for less work.”

The Straw-man stands tall, the debate loses credibility.

Or take gender based violence. Women ask for safety, accountability and respect. Society responds: “Not all men are the same.” A distortion designed to inflame rather than inform.

Another one you’ve definitely heard: “Unpaid domestic and emotional labor and its recognition.” We ask society to acknowledge the physical and emotional support women have been providing for generations. A mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, with their thankless job of cooking, cleaning, making sure everyone is healthy are all taken for granted.

But when we try to stand up for our dignity, it is “straw-manned” by crucifying us as home-wreckers. Instead of being accountable they ask: "Oh! Now we will have to pay our wives for household chores and loving my children?”

No, the point was unrecognized, invisible labour, not affection. They even claim that feminism is tearing apart family values. I’ve even heard comments like: "That’s why women should not get higher education. My mother was class 5 pass. She could never look my father in his eyes. She always knew her place.”

I wanted to ask him: "It was the kitchen, right?”  Because men can’t see women anywhere else but in the kitchen.

These misrepresentations serve a purpose. By reframing feminism as irrational or extreme, men who benefit from existing hierarchies avoid confronting uncomfortable truths about inequality.

How is it Affecting the Cause?

You want to see a practical example? Look at the last week of Bangladesh. After more than five rape cases, one wife’s suicide and an eight year old girl’s tragic demise, we are accused of not voting for a certain party openly. Women who actually choose to voice these crimes and ask for justice are repeatedly getting bashed for it on social media.

Comments like: “Why don’t you go to Shahbag again?" “Where are the woke feminists now?” or “Where is the party you voted for?” are just straw-manning the main subject. Safety, accountability, justice, where are these topics in your sarcastic comments or social media posts?

Why are you questioning my vote when I was given the poorest choices? If I had to choose a side out of some non-negotiable terms, my choice was not my choice, it was a 50/50 gamble. We have all played that part.

If you are so sure that a certain party would have given us safety, security and respect, why are they quiet now? And why is it that we need to be saved rather than setting an example by punishing the predator. We won’t even need saving anymore.

But no one is talking about the crime. Women ask for safety, they question our modesty, we ask for equality, we are posed as “too extreme.” Feminists challenge power, they are criticized or trolled without even understanding the concept of feminism. It’s a calculated avoidance deceived as debate.

I’m exhausted, I don’t want to clarify anymore. I don’t want to answer anymore why my name means a lot to me, why I need my own money, why I’m suspicious of every man and why I’m always angry. If women need to explain everything, defend what they are not supposed to, and clarify what they didn’t say, I wonder if the little ray of hope sometimes showing up in the haze is actually worth it.

As a Bangladeshi, practicing Muslim woman, I don’t want to be represented by the straw-Man created by patriarchy. I don’t want my asks and needs to be replaced by mockery and rhetorical questions.

I want to breathe in the free air, in a free country where an eight year old girl or a seventy year old woman are equally safe to go back home. Where I am not identified based on my gender or my constitution or my belief.

This angry daughter of my father wants to die a free soul as she was born one.

Shanim Tasnim is a member of the Counterpoint editorial staff.