“Bacho, Becho” (Survive and Sell)

“It is a part/that I blush in”

Shakespeare, Coriolanus, (ActII, Sc III)

Somewhere out there in the world, there exists a land which follows the principles of Silence, Oblivion, Toadyism, Manipulation and Turncoating. These five commandments are printed and hung on every wall, every street and every group. The name of this nation is EveryWhere, Inc.

The last tag of “Inc.” comes from the sheer necessity of being corporate and quite reasonably so as EveryWhere needs to make a profit in order to survive. The nation is governed by a board where the members hail from three constituencies: Greed, Power, and Hypocrisy. They have individual targets to fulfil and they have a big job to accomplish: choosing voters. The board decides who to elect as their electorate so that the dictates of the land are upheld and never questioned.

The first commandment is relatively easy to handle:

Practice Silence

Citizens of Everywhere Inc. are advised not to be surprised when they witness burning homes, offices or humans as these fall under regularized violence. They are encouraged to view it as an entitled rage that burns their sensibilities and then leads to the rampage.

The citizens are not to question the source of the wrath and by any means deduce that it is the collective silence of the civil society that is fanning the fires. Citizens are also discouraged from using first or second persons as that would lead straight to the truth, leaving no space for confusion.

The main goal is to avoid assuming responsibility. In that society, “I” has  been replaced by “one,” “Now” by “generally,” “Often” by "sometimes," and most importantly, “You” by “someone.”

Spades are not called Spades anymore. Truth is, they have stopped calling anyone or anything by name anymore. At best, when authorities are pushed to speak the truth, they resort to references to shelter the sensitive while the powerful wear the garb of impunity to defeat rules and rights of the powerless.

The Latin phrase “ligonem, ligonem vocare” doesn’t exist anymore. The expression of Erasmus calling “a hoe a hoe” is also dead. The era of simply “words, words, words” has set in and has put the original Hamlet to shame.

In Everywhere Inc., the citizens have all chosen silence over expression, complicity over courage.

Practice Oblivion

Most of the citizens are wondering where Hitu Sheikh is today. Remember that 50 year old monster who raped the eight year old child from Magura, eventually leading to her death?

The last time the citizens heard about his death sentence was on May 17. The citizens have forgotten Hitu. The citizens have buried him in their collective memory.

In between March and October 2022. 14 child rape cases were reported. Some of the victims were just eight years old. In 2024, 197 rape cases were filed across the country. In between 2019 and 2022, according to the National Consultation on Child-focused UPR Stakeholder’s Report, 3,339 children were raped, of whom 219 were male children.

In Everywhere Inc., rape has had a chilling consistency and oblivion has been the only path taken.

So, with every report filed, with every obit read, the system of Everywhere Inc. applies white ink to the pages and moves on to report and then routinely obliterate the next sin.

Practice Toadying

The citizens of Everywhere Inc. have enormous capacity to pander to their heroes, and are routinely blinded in the process. Through this practice, over the last 15-20 years, they have authored a playbook for Toadying. Toadying happened in the 17th and the 18th century when assistants or rather, Toad-eaters would pretend to eat poisonous food to prove medical genius of a quack, purely to please a superior.

That practice continues in this new nation. With every change in governance and rule, the citizens change sides and pretend to be victims of malaise waiting to be cured by the new healer.

Unfortunately, this process has even overflowed into their graveyards, where people are now elbowing each other out to be captured by the camera during their prayers, or spraying the holy ZamZam water all over the dead.

History confirms that their obsequiousness had turned their past leaders into rats riding in pumpkin carriages when the clock struck midnight and it was time to flee.

Luckily the mode of transportation varied as some were lucky enough to ride on choppers, and some by foot, crossing barbed wires, risking the wrath of the potential captors, looking for a social media moment of exposing the unshaven captives in lungis.

Practice Squealerism

Before going into the fourth commandment, let me now refresh your memories of reading Animal Farm. Remember Squealer, a character in the story who most efficiently switched sides, reshaped truth, rewrote principles, and showed betrayal as a logical process?

While the pigs overthrew Mr.Jones, Squealer, the Minister for Propaganda, started changing the seven commandments they had originally agreed on. So, “No animal shall drink alcohol” changed to “No animal shall drink alcohol IN EXCESS.”

At the end the pigs and humans were indistinguishable as all of them appeared to be the same. After all, according to Squealer, “All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.”

Coming back to today’s context in Everywhere Inc, one can’t help but notice that there is an abundance of Squealers manipulating the political language according to convenience, rewriting history, and engaging in fear tactics.

We witness the queue of Squealers who line up to pay respect to the throne, quickly abandoning their former skin, in which they sang, danced and raised toasts to the throne, forfeiting their past pronouncements in an inexplicable rush.

Practice Turncoating

With time, these citizens have grown comfortable in the guise of a chameleon. In schools, a masterclass is taught on Joseph Fouche of France who adapted to every government, lived through the Revolution, the Terror, Thermidor, Napoleon and the Bourbons.

While he enforced the rules of Terror, he finally worked against it and brought Napoleon down and yet managed to also serve under the Bourbons. He practised self-erasure and remained faithful to none and indispensable to all.

Therefore, considering the absolute necessity to adapt to all situations in the borders of the new land, all the citizens and the board of Everywhere Inc. now read lessons from Fouche in a textbook titled Bacho, Becho (Survive and Sell)

In the 5th century BC, there was a Coriolanus who refused “to be humble, stand in the marketplace and display his wounds.” To Coriolanus, pandering to the whims of the audience was sheer drama. He thought that doing such a thing would be a moral shame; therefore he refused to be modest. He was a ruler who felt ashamed to be a part of the “play.”

In Everywhere Inc. the plays have gone on forever. Actors and board members of the nation have often brought in Guest Actors to complete the scenes.

But in complete idiocy, that nation, while it prepares to scan the citizens’ history and moral character, in order to judge their citizens eligibility criterion, they forgot that the digital space has records of all they once were, all they currently are and all that they will become in the near future.

For them, let your columnist end with one caution: The Cloud is up there and the machines don’t forget.

(Special note: this Op-ed is written in jest and any resemblance to anyone in reality, is only a coincidence).

Rubana Huq is Vice Chancellor, Asian University for Women.