My Mami, Khaleda Zia -- and the Strength of the Silent Anchor

The world knows her as the “Uncompromising Leader,” the stateswoman who steered Bangladesh back to the shores of parliamentary democracy.

But in the quiet corridors of our family canon, she was my Mami, Khaleda Zia -- the woman who showed us that the greatest strength is often the quietest.

To the public, she was a symbol; to me, she was the niece who risked her life to honor the woman who raised me.

Today, as the nation marks her passing on this December 30, 2025, I find myself looking past the three premierships and the official portraits. I am looking instead at the invisible thread that connects a family dining room to the survival of a nation.

The "Big House" and the High Branches

Long before the political sieges, there were the weekends at the "big house" during my Mama’s time as President. For the world, it was the seat of power; for me and Coco, it was our playground. We were the same age, best of friends, and the architects of a hundred naughty moments.

I will never forget the time the two of us climbed a tree and hid ourselves for hours, watching from the high branches as the entire household and the security forces fell into a state of total panic.

When we finally climbed down in the evening, I will never forget the earful my Mami and my mother gave the two of us. It was a lesson in the fierce, protective love that governed our family.

The Heart of the Home: My Nani (my Grand Aunt)

While my mother would visit her cousins in the UK for long periods, the anchor of my daily life was my Nani -- my Mama's aunt. She was the one who stayed with me, whose presence filled the house, and whose chicken stew remains the singular, warm taste of my childhood.

She was the steady hand that allowed me to feel secure while the world outside began to churn with political unrest.

The Midnight Sentinel

The most profound realization of my Mami’s inner strength happened when my Nani passed away. Our home was transformed into a target of a paranoid regime. The neighborhood was crawling with intelligence officers, the phones were tapped, and the blockade felt absolute.

We had surrendered to the reality that Mami could not possibly navigate such a dragnet to pay her respects to my Nani's body. We went to sleep at midnight, resigned to the regime's blockade.

Then came the tap on the shoulder. My mother woke my brother and me, ushering us into the dining room. There, in the middle of the night, sat my Mami. She had shed the mantle of a national icon and clothed herself in the unremarkable attire of the hundreds of mourners who had passed through our doors.

She had walked right past the intelligence forces, invisible in her humility, to pay her final respects to her Aunt. Watching her eat a quiet meal with my parents, I realized her strength wasn't in her title; it was in her refusal to let a dictator’s blockade come between her and her family.

The Architecture of Defiance

This was the same woman who would be "kidnapped" by the regime to Savar, only to boldly walk out and reappear in the heart of the resistance. She understood that you cannot build a nation on a foundation of military legitimacy.

Her refusal to blink in 1986, when others found reasons to compromise, was the same iron will that brought her to our dining room that night. She taught us that courage is the refusal to let fear dictate your path.

A Final Farewell

As we bid her farewell today, the "Uncompromising Leader" is finally at rest. To the historians, she is the architect of the 12th Amendment. To the people, she is the symbol of a democracy that refused to die.

But to me, she remains my Mami -- the woman who could slip through a military blockade as easily as she could appreciate the simple sanctuary of a family meal. She taught us that true power doesn’t come from the title you hold, but from the responsibility you carry for those you love.

She was our anchor. And in the fabric of Bangladesh, her thread will never be pulled.

Kawsar Chowdhury is an entrepreneur, commentator, and Co-Chair of the Global Bangladeshi Alliance.